


A Legacy To Be Proud Of

by clones_and_thrones



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Childbirth, Clexa, F/F, Marriage, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6483346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clones_and_thrones/pseuds/clones_and_thrones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey so I'm one of the contributors to herstoryforheda.tumblr.com and I got this request asking for a one-shot of Clarke and Lexa having a baby, and then Lexa is super upset to find out that the child has nightblood. It kinda turned into something longer than I intended, but I hope y'all enjoy it!</p><p>(Sorry if it maybe switches viewpoints in a few places. Sometimes I do that, but I try to make it as smooth as possible.</p><p>Also no, I don't know how Lexa managed to get Clarke pregnant but this is sci-fi so anything goes. Maybe the Grounders evolved to that point. But no I don't headcanon g!p Lexa so it's not that lol.)</p><p>Follow me on Tumblr at amazoniankryptonian.tumblr.com :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	A Legacy To Be Proud Of

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so I'm one of the contributors to herstoryforheda.tumblr.com and I got this request asking for a one-shot of Clarke and Lexa having a baby, and then Lexa is super upset to find out that the child has nightblood. It kinda turned into something longer than I intended, but I hope y'all enjoy it!
> 
> (Sorry if it maybe switches viewpoints in a few places. Sometimes I do that, but I try to make it as smooth as possible.
> 
> Also no, I don't know how Lexa managed to get Clarke pregnant but this is sci-fi so anything goes. Maybe the Grounders evolved to that point. But no I don't headcanon g!p Lexa so it's not that lol.)
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at amazoniankryptonian.tumblr.com :)

Lexa was worried.

Her girlfriend had been acting strange all day. She’d barely said anything during the Ambassadors’ meeting, and that was definitely NOT like Clarke.

It wasn’t until they were in Lexa’s bedchamber (well, _their_ bedchamber, considering Clarke hadn’t used her own in months) and she was busy removing her ceremonial Heda garb that Clarke finally spoke up.

“Lexa,” Clarke’s voice was small and uncertain and, again, very unlike her. “I need to tell you something…”

Lexa’s heart almost froze in her chest, both at the words and at how truly frightened Clarke seemed. No one got to see the legendary Wanheda like this… rarely even Lexa. Something had to really be bothering Clarke. The urge to fix everything often drove the girl to distraction, but in that moment the same urge drove Lexa herself to Clarke’s side in an instant, her hands going to stroke reassuringly along Clarke’s upper arms.

“You know you can tell me anything, Clarke,” she said with all the tenderness and conviction she felt.

Fretful blue eyes held Lexa’s for several agonizingly long seconds. Whatever Clarke saw must have helped because she let out a breath that neither realized she’d been holding.

“I’m pregnant, Lexa.”

Lexa froze. Her eyes never left Clarke’s, her hands never moved, her breath stayed trapped in her lungs. But while her body couldn’t seem to move or react, her mind kicked into overdrive.

She was going to be a mother…

_Holy shit, she was going to be a mother!_

Clarke was pregnant. With her child. _THEIR_ child. She knew it was possible, though not very common.

She never thought about having children growing up. She was a Natblida; her goal, her sole purpose had always been to become Commander. And to be Commander was to be alone. Once she’d become Commander, she spent too much time fighting for peace and making sure things would be in order for the next Commander to consider starting a family. Even with Costia, the thought had never crossed her mind.

But now, with peace actually established and stable for the foreseeable future, and with Clarke undoubtedly a huge part of that future…

“Lexa?!” Clarke said, obviously alarmed at her non-reaction. Lexa’s mind had covered years of ground in seconds, but a few seconds of silence after an announcement like that might as well have been a lifetime.

“I’m sorry, I uh… you just… you surprised me,” she stumbled over her words, her usual eloquence gone. Her hands slid down to their place in Clarke’s own. “Are you certain?”

Clarke nodded, blinking rapidly and swallowing hard. “Absolutely certain.” Tears began to well in her eyes. “I don’t know what to do!” she exclaimed, her voice thick with emotion.

“Sshh,” Lexa soothed, pulling Clarke into her arms. “It’s simple, Clarke. Do you want this?”

“It’s not that simple,”Clarke argued, though she did not pull away. “Do YOU want this?”

“I want you to be happy and safe. It is for you to decide, Clarke. You are the one carrying our child.” Clarke lifted her head from Lexa’s shoulder, a wobbly smile forming on her lips.

“ _Our_ child…” Clarke repeated, her smile getting bigger. She nodded slowly and sniffed. “Yes… I want our child. And it’s crazy because I’ve never thought about kids for myself until I found out I was late and then all I could think about was having one with your wild curly hair, trying to fight everyone as soon as they’re old enough to pick up a stick and I just…” she hiccuped, her tears flowing more freely now.

_Do pregnancy hormones kick in this early? Clarke was as selfless as people come, but sentimentality wasn’t usually one of her strong suits._

“Me either,” Lexa confessed. “I didn’t think I would live long enough to MAKE a child, let alone raise one.” Clarke laughed at that, leaning their foreheads together.

“Well, you definitely took every opportunity to make this one,” Clarke teased.

_There was the usual Clarke Griffin._

Lexa huffed in mock-offense. “I may be Commander of 13 Clans, but I’m still only human, Clarke.”

This earned another laugh from Clarke. After a couple of seconds, she sobered up slightly and asked again, “So you do want our child, as well?”

Lexa’s hand came to rest on Clarke’s stomach and her face broke out into the kind of smile that only the woman carrying her child would ever see. “Our child is a product of our love. How could I not want them?”

The complete look of adoration on Clarke’s face was enough to make Lexa’s breath catch. “You’re going to be such an amazing mom, Lexa. Which is a relief, because I have no idea what I’m doing. At least I have my mom to turn to for advice and - oh my god, we have to tell my mom!”

Clarke then laughed at what Lexa could only guess was her own slightly (okay, not so slightly) frightened expression. Not many things scared her, but telling your girlfriend’s mom that you got her pregnant was pretty terrifying no matter how many bloody battles you’d won in your lifetime.

“Come on, Lex. You know my mom actually likes you, right? I just wonder if she’ll insist on a shotgun wedding…” she joked.

“I wouldn’t mind that, actually,” Lexa said softly.

“What?” Clarke asked, surprised.

“Being married to you,” Lexa explained shyly. “I think I’d like that.”

“So you’re saying you’d marry me to preserve my honor?” Clarke said with a grin. “I’m pretty sure everyone who has ever seen us in the same room knows exactly the nature of our relationship.”

“No, I’m saying I would marry you because I am yours and you are mine and nothing would please me more than to say that officially to everyone who would listen. And also because we are having a child together. I don’t know what your customs are for it, or if it’s more proper for two people to be married before they have a child. We don’t care so much about those rules on the ground, as long as the child is well cared for. But I want to be yours in every way that is important and that matters. We are a family and… your mother is a part of that family. I really want her to approve.”

Lexa hoped she’d phrased it right. This isn’t how she’d planned on bringing the subject up to Clarke, but things never go exactly how you want them to, do they?

“You… you’re asking me to marry you? Like, officially?” Clarke asked seemingly in disbelief.

“I am. Sooner than I had planned and not nearly as romantic as I had hoped, but if you say yes I’m sure I can figure out a way to sweep you off your feet in the very near future,” Lexa grinned. Clarke had made her so much more lighthearted in the relatively short time they’d known each other and it amazed her every day. She took the opportunity to kneel, much like she had that night when she’d sworn fealty. “So, officially… Clarke kom Skaikru, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

“You never do anything that isn’t utterly, breathtakingly romantic, you know that? You sweep me off my feet just by the way you look at me, Lexa. Of course I will marry you. But…” Lexa looked apprehensive so Clarke didn’t leave her on the hook for too long, “the honor will be all mine, obviously.” She laughed at the audible sigh of relief that Lexa gave as she said that.

Clarke took Lexa’s hands and helped her to her feet, their fingers fitting perfectly into the spaces between each others’. Lexa leaned in to press a soft kiss to Clarke’s lips before brushing their noses together.

“Ai hod yu in,” she whispered.

“Ai hod yu in seintaim,” Clarke replied, her eyes fluttering shut as she looped her arms around Lexa’s neck and nestled herself closer into her Commander’s arms.

In that moment, Clarke’s words from several months ago echoed in the back of Lexa’s mind.

_“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving.”_

Maybe she had just been merely surviving all along. Maybe it wasn’t until Clarke that she had truly started to _live_. And as she glanced down at the beautiful, incredible woman in her arms, she knew that it was true.

* * *

They rode to Arkadia the next day to tell Abby, and planned to make the formal wedding announcement in Polis once they returned, hopefully with everyone from Arkadia who would like to attend with them.

Telling Abby didn’t go over badly. She actually seemed rather excited, once the initial confusion and surprise wore off. And once she asked them about a hundred times if they were sure this is what they wanted. The thing she was most worried about was what her grandchild would call her, because she insisted that she was still too young to be a “grandma” or a “Nana.” She also insisted that she be the one to walk Clarke down the aisle at the wedding, which neither Clarke nor Lexa thought was up for debate anyway.

Abby called Kane in shortly afterwards for them to tell him the news, and that as the Chancellor, he should make the wedding announcement to Arkadia at the next opportunity. Kane seemed beyond thrilled (whether it was for the child, the wedding, or the prospect of getting to return to Polis again, they did not know) and said he would call the camp together later that same day.

The announcement was met with mostly enthusiasm and congratulations from the population of Arkadia, though there wasn’t much celebration amongst those from Farm Station. Luckily Pike had been dealt with and those who remained in Arkadia were not zealots.

It occurred to Lexa in that moment that the decision she was making completely with her heart was also one that made sense if made with her head. She had secured the fealty of Azgeda by killing Nia and giving Roan his throne, and now she was marrying the Ambassador of Skaikru, the other clan who had caused so much chaos. If Titus or any of the other clans had anything to say about her decision, it would be easy enough to defend as an intelligent and strategic alliance.

Not that she really cared what Titus thought when it came to Clarke. Or anyone else for that matter. She had brought peace to her people and in doing so had made several incredible decisions along the way. But Clarke… she was by far the best decision Lexa would ever make.

All of Clarke’s friends congratulated her rambunctiously. Once she could move without being smothered with hugs, she made her way over to Raven, who had hung back because of her brace. Lexa watched from a distance to give Clarke her time with her friend. She knew most of the Skaikru still weren’t particularly fond of her on a personal level, though she hoped to change that.

“I didn’t feel like getting knocked over by random people when I knew you’d come find me anyway,” Raven said with her signature cocky smile. Clarke rolled her eyes and pulled Raven in for a hug.

“You’re such an asshole,” Clarke muttered. “But you’re an asshole I really want to be my maid of honor, if you’re okay with that?”

“Wait… no shit? Like you really want me to?” Raven seemed genuinely shocked.

“Yes, absolutely.” Clarke smiled, “So will you?”

“As long as you’re okay with her being mine too!” Octavia, who had apparently been eavesdropping, piped up.

“Yeah, that’s part of why I was so surprised,” Raven explained. “I couldn’t believe two people were asking me so close together. Octavia probably wanted to tell you but the cat’s out of the bag now, thanks to her own stupid self.” She glared affectionately at Octavia. “She and Lincoln are sort of engaged now, too.”

“That’s amazing! Congratulations O!” Clarke tugged Octavia into a particularly exuberant hug.

“Thank you, Clarke! I’m so happy you and Lexa are finally pulling your heads out of your asses. You two are practically already married anyway. How soon are you planning to do it? I know Kane said it’s not far off considering they’re expecting us to travel to Polis ASAP if we want to attend, but Lincoln and I are kind of rushing things ourselves.”

“Are you pregnant too?” Clarke asked excitedly.

The look Octavia gave Clarke went from extremely surprised to a knowing, shit-eating grin within a few seconds. “I’m not pregnant. But you just said ‘too’ so I’m assuming you are?”

“Oh shit!” Clarke slapped her hand to her forehead. “Well, um I guess you’re not the only one letting cats out of bags today, O. Yeah, I am. But like you said, with me and Lexa, this… the marriage, I mean… was sort of inevitable. So it’s happening, sooner rather than later. What’s the rush on your end?”

“Bellamy is leaving. He says it’s hard to be around the people here after everything that’s happened, so he wants to go out and see the different clans. It’s like a healing journey I guess,” Octavia explained, and this was something Clarke could definitely understand as she’d been there herself. “And I want him to be there for my wedding. I don’t know when he’ll be back, or even IF he’ll be back knowing the way life can be. So Lincoln and I want to do it now when he can be there to walk me down the aisle. He’s the only family I have.”

“You are more than welcome to have your wedding the same day as ours in Polis. Double weddings are quite common for us,” Lexa said suddenly, coming to stand beside Clarke. She didn’t hold much love for Bellamy, but she had grown to like Octavia and she knew Clarke loved the girl like a younger sister.

“That would actually be kind of perfect,” Clarke agreed, looking to Octavia to see what she thought. “And Raven can be there for both of us as our maid of honor.”

“It makes sense, really. I mean I am twice as honorable as anyone else around here…” Raven deadpanned before cracking into an infectious smile. “I’m game!”

“Me too! I’ll run it by Lincoln, but I’m sure he’ll be fine with it. Thank you so much, Lexa! This means more than you know,” she stepped forward, looking uncertain for a second but then  shrugging and throwing her arms around Clarke and Lexa both, hugging them tightly. “Oh and I won’t tell anyone you’re knocked up!” She stage whispered as she started to walk away, giving them a wink and a cheeky grin.

“Oh I’m telling everyone,” Raven cracked. “I’m gonna start taking bets on various topics regarding your kid.”

“How about we at least get through the wedding first?” Clarke suggested.

“My thoughts exactly,” Lexa said, then as serious as she could, “I think we should get a cut once she starts taking bets, though.”

And for once, Raven Reyes was laughing at a joke that wasn’t her own.

* * *

 

The next couple of weeks went by quickly, and the wedding day arrived before they really knew it. As it turned out, Indra was quite the exceptional planner and Abby was no slouch herself. Lexa was certain they drove everyone in Polis mad but at least she knew everything was taken care of.

As excited and nervous as they all were, Lexa was sure the one who was most excited and _proud beyond belief_ was Aden. Lexa was not close to many women… well, she was not close to many _people_ period… so she didn’t really have an option for a maid of honor. (She missed Anya more than she ever let on.) She was supposed to remain as impartial as she could to her Natblidas, but she could not help the fact that she very much felt Aden was like a little brother to her. And so she had made him her best man. Lincoln, for his part, chose Nyko to be his best man.

Lexa had her private seamstress make a gown for Octavia since the girl owned no clothes other than what she normally wore. Though their supplies were limited, she was Commander and she could have what she wanted. Clarke told Lexa that she did not need a dress made, that she actually was quite fond of the dress she had worn the night Skaikru took the brand and swore fealty to the Coalition. Commanders did not typically marry, so there was no custom to dictate to Lexa what she should wear. But she decided that it was only fitting to match Clarke, and opted for the dress she wore that night as well.

The wedding itself went off without a hitch. Lexa and Clarke managed not to cry, although their eyes were definitely misty throughout the ceremony and especially during the vows. Octavia and Lincoln both cried openly and Lexa thought it probably endeared them more than ever to everyone in attendance.

The party that ensued afterwards was something everyone needed. Grounders and Sky People alike ate, drank, and danced without reservation. Roan even made the trip from the Ice Nation and brought with him a huge wild boar that he killed along the way. “A wedding gift,” he said. “Now put it on the fire and we can all enjoy it!”

* * *

“What are you thinking?” Clarke asked a few hours into the reception.

Lexa turned from where she was watching Aden teach a Skaikru girl (who she thought was named Harper) a traditional Trikru dance. She smiled at Clarke and then looked back to the scene in front of her.

“I’m thinking that without you, none of this would be possible,” Lexa said fondly, turning back to Clarke and smiling. “Look at them, Clarke. They all look so happy, so _at peace_. It’s like when you brought me peace and happiness, you brought it to our people as well.”

“That works both ways, you know,” Clarke murmured as she leaned in to press a kiss to Lexa’s cheek. “You brought me peace and happiness too. And you worked for peace for years with your people before I even showed up.”

“Yes, but it was never complete. There was still the matter of Nia and the Ice Nation. Then you showed up and set everything into motion that would ultimately end all of that.”

“Which would not have turned out as perfectly as it did were it not for your diplomacy and, might I say, totally badass warrior skills,” Clarke said with a flirtatious smile. “The girl from the Ground and the girl from the Sky, thrown together to save their people but instead they fall in love and in doing so, save their people. It’s kind of poetic, isn’t it? Almost gross, actually. If anyone else heard that, they’d be gagging right now.”

“That would mean our child is a parallel to the peace we’ve created with our people. So I think it’s a beautiful analogy,” Lexa said.

“So do I. And I knew you would. You’re a giant sap,” Clarke laughed. “Octavia calls you ‘Commander Heart Eyes.’”

“And what are you? ‘Commander Bedroom Eyes?’” Lexa countered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it means. I might look at you in such a way that would earn Octavia’s nickname, but you always look at me like you can’t wait to get back to our room, no matter what time of day it is.”

“I don’t ever hear you complain,” Clarke smirked, giving Lexa the exact look she had been referring to.

“And you never will.”

With that, Lexa leaned in and kissed her wife quite thoroughly, hoping that they’d already spent the appropriate amount of time at the reception because she _really_ wanted to start the honeymoon as soon as possible.

(They ended up staying three more hours, and those three hours seemed longer than the weeks leading up to the wedding.)

* * *

“What about Cecilia for a girl?” Clarke asked. She was lying on their bed, Lexa propped up on her elbow beside her. The baby was due in little more than a month, and they had yet to decide on a name.

“Hmm, I’m not sure,” Lexa said.

“You’ve said that about every name!”

“Because I’m not sure. I think our child’s name should be something that we both just _know_ the moment we hear it. I haven’t had that feeling yet.”

“Wow, the great Commander believes in ‘ _feelings,_ ’” Clarke teased.

“Shof op,” Lexa pouted, which made Clarke laugh harder.

The laughter must have excited or disturbed the baby because Clarke sucked in her breath and her hands went to her stomach. She pulled up her shirt and neither she nor Lexa could suppress the smiles of wonder that they had every time they saw or felt their child move.

“They like your laugh,” Lexa mused as she rested her hand on Clarke’s stomach.

“Or they just want me to shut up,” Clarke snickered, the movement making the baby kick again.

“Good luck on that front, kid,” Lexa whispered to the baby, pressing a kiss to the skin just above Clarke’s navel. She looked up, expecting to see Clarke getting ready to make some sarcastic retort. But Clarke was looking at her like she hung the sun and stars in the sky. “What?”

Clarke shook her head. “Nothing. I’m just thinking how I’m the only one who gets to see you like this. And part of me thinks it’s a shame because if only everyone knew how loving and _good_ you really are, they would never hesitate about following you. But the other part of me is so selfishly grateful that I’m the only one who gets to see this part of you. I get Lexa, they get Heda.”

Lexa rested her head against Clarke’s stomach, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She laced her fingers with Clarke’s and brought her hand to her lips, brushing kisses against each knuckle and then to the palm of her hand.

“Ai niron,” Lexa whispered reverently.

“Ai gona,” Clarke said with a breathtaking smile.

They were content to stay like that forever and would have, had it not been for their child who seemed to not like not being the center of their conversation anymore. They gave a rather vigorous kick, right in the place where Lexa’s head was resting. Lexa pulled back with an indignant snort and rubbed at her head.

The image made Clarke laugh unbelievably hard, but it also gave her an idea. For some reason, the knock to the head reminded her of something… _YES_!

“Lexa… I think I know what we should name our baby if it’s a girl…” Clarke said timidly, unsure if Lexa would love or hate the idea.

“Indra? Because she gives me a headache?” Lexa grumbled, which was admittedly adorable.

“No, but I’m getting that _feeling_ about this name so hopefully you will too…” This brought Lexa to more serious attention.

“Okay Clarke, what’s this name you’re thinking of?”

“Anya.”

Lexa looked floored. At first Clarke thought maybe it was a bad idea but then Lexa started to smile and tears formed in the corner of her eyes.

“It’s perfect,” Lexa said, “I think Anya would probably say it was ridiculous if she were here but she would secretly love it. And I can already tell our little one likes to tell people to shut up and hit them in the head, which were two of Anya’s favorite activities.”

“Believe me, I know,” Clarke said dryly.

“Thank you,” Lexa said with utmost sincerity. “And I think… if it’s a boy, perhaps we can name him Jake? Like your father? I never met him, but I wish I could have. I know he was so important to you, and it’s only fair that our child have a chance to be named after someone who was important to us both.”

It was Clarke’s turn to tear up then, except hers turned into full-on crying and she nodded her agreement. “I would love that more than you know, Lexa.”

Lexa moved up to cuddle Clarke close to her, pressing soft kisses along her hairline and rubbing her back and shoulders. “I think I know,” she murmured.

_Yeah, she definitely knew._

* * *

 

Lexa had fought dozens of opponents in her lifetime that should have frightened her to her very core. But nothing in her life had prepared her for the complete and utter fear and uselessness she felt when her wife went into labor. Abby was there, as were several others who knew what they were doing. But Lexa felt like she should DO something other than just hold Clarke’s hand and breathe with her.

Besides the occasional shouts of pain and the impressively vice-like grip she had on Lexa’s hand, Clarke was the face of composure and calm. _At the beginning._ The longer it went on though, the crankier Clarke got. She said several curse words that Lexa wasn’t even sure what they meant. Sky People definitely had a colorful vocabulary.

After a particularly bad set of contractions, Lexa looked devastated and her face was pale.

“I’m so sorry,” she said sadly and albeit a bit melodramatically. “I promise when this is over I won’t ever touch you again.”

“Hey, I’m supposed to be the one to tell you you’re not going to touch me again!” Clarke got out between clenched teeth. Then she mustered up her best cocky grin and said, “And even in this state, I have to say it’s not bad enough for me to ever wish that.” Another contraction hit her just seconds later and she spat out, “Yet!”

Seven hours later, Clarke gave birth to Anya Griffin.

(Grounders didn’t have last names, but some Skaikru traditions made sense to Lexa.)

Lexa didn’t know someone so small could have such a big grip on your heart and so quickly. And she supposed everyone thought their children were beautiful, but Lexa would literally fight anyone who called their daughter anything less than perfect.

From what she heard Abby saying, the baby’s eye color wouldn’t be permanently settled in until she was close to a year old, but her eyes looked closer to blue than anything else. She had quite a lot of hair for a baby, Lexa thought, and every bit of it was as blonde as Clarke’s. That made Lexa happy.

“She has your little ears!” Clarke pointed out gleefully. Lexa rolled her eyes in feigned annoyance at the mention of her noticeably small ears, but slid onto the bed beside Clarke. She had just finished feeding Anya and both seemed to be calming down for the night.

“She has your nose and chin, though,” Lexa said, reaching over to play with her daughter’s hand, who immediately wrapped it around Lexa’s finger and squeezed. “And your grip, apparently.”

“Some girls just have it all,” Clarke giggled. “Here, it’s your turn.” She shifted slightly and maneuvered Anya into Lexa’s arms carefully. Then she leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder so as not to miss a beat.

“Hello, Anya,” Lexa whispered softly. “I love you so much.” She pressed a soft kiss to the top of her daughter’s head. Anya’s eyes stayed closed but she moved her head a little and she made a soft grunting sound. “You’re going to have the whole world at your feet.”

“It’s because she has the two best parents,” Clarke said lovingly, her eyes traveling from Anya to Lexa and back again. “We did such a great job, Lexa. She’s perfect.” Lexa turned her head to peck Clarke on the lips.

“I never expected anything less from us,” she said.

She let Clarke drift off to sleep after that because she definitely deserved it. She held Anya until she started fussing to be fed again, and she knew that it was going to take all of her strength not to spoil their child.

* * *

The heel prick test is done when an infant is five days old.

It’s also when Lexa felt her own blood run cold.

Anya had nightblood.

Why hadn’t she thought of this before? She had been so blind and stupid! All she had thought of for nine months was how amazing life with Clarke and their child would be. She never thought about the fact that the child had a fifty-fifty shot of having nightblood.

Being Natblida was supposed to be an honor. She always believed it was. But the thought of her daughter one day having to be forced into the Conclave… Lexa’s jaw clenched, as did her fists, and she fought against the bile rising in her throat.

She was selfish and foolish and now her daughter would have to pay for it.

Abby was in the middle of explaining that everything looked fine with Anya’s bloodwork when Lexa decided she needed to get out of there. She turned and left, not really knowing where she was going and not even hearing the voices calling after her. She ended up in her throne room, pacing back and forth in the same restless manner in which her thoughts did.

“Heda…” a small voice spoke from the corner of the room, snapping Lexa to attention.

_Oh, it was only Aden._

“Aden, what are you doing in the throne room?” Lexa asked, though there was no anger or power in her voice. There probably should be, given the fact that he was not allowed in the throne room unless summoned.

“I like to come in here sometimes to think,” he admitted. He walked towards Lexa slowly, probably sensing that she was uneasy.

“Don’t worry Aden, I’m not going to punish you for being here,” she said.

“That’s not what I’m worried about, Heda. You seemed so happy. What’s wrong?” It wasn’t a question most dared to ask the Commander. It was personal and just not done. But Aden was different. He would most likely be Heda if something were to happen to her. At least she could only hope.

Lexa looked at Aden carefully before motioning for him to sit with her on the steps near her throne.

“I trust what I tell you is in confidence, Natblida,” Lexa started. At Aden’s vigorous nodding, which was admittedly adorable, she continued, “My daughter Anya… she is a Natblida. I just found out today.”

“That is a great honor, Heda. Why would you be upset about that? She is worthy of being Heda herself someday.”

“Yes but,” Lexa thought of a way to phrase it so Aden could understand. He was very smart, but he was still so young. “Aden, if the Conclave were tomorrow, how would you feel about having to kill all of your fellow Natblida?”

Aden frowned and looked down, fidgeting slightly under her gaze. “I would have to. If I want to be Heda. Or even if I just want to live.”

“That’s not what I asked. How would you feel about having to kill everyone else? Or at least be the reason why they’re dead, or end up living while they all die?”

“I… I wouldn’t want to do it. I _don’t_ want to do it. They are like my family. And even if they weren’t, I don’t think they deserve to die,” Aden met Lexa’s eyes again. “You didn’t want to kill everyone at your Conclave either.”

Lexa shook her head. “I suspect most who participate do not wish to kill or even harm anyone. And you may not be able to understand this because you are so young and not a parent. I did not understand myself until very recently. But the thought of my daughter, or even someone else I care about, having to go through that, regardless of whether they win or not… it is almost unbearable.”

Aden nodded. “I understand, Heda.”

“Understand what?” Clarke said from across the room, startling both of them. She didn’t seem angry, but very concerned.

“Aden, would you mind giving me and Clarke the room?” Lexa asked. He jumped up to leave immediately but Lexa grabbed his arm as she stood as well, pulling him in for an unexpected (and definitely unusual) hug. “And thank you for listening. It’s one of the many traits a Commander must have and use frequently.”

“I think you just made his year,” Clarke commented after Aden practically skipped from the room.

“He is a great kid,” Lexa said matter-of-factly as she sat back down.

“As is our own,” Clarke said in the same tone. Lexa’s eyes met Clarke’s and in that moment she knew Clarke _knew_. She understood exactly what had been going through Lexa’s mind. “I never considered it either, to be honest. The nightblood… it never even crossed my mind.”

“But it should have crossed mine, Clarke,” Lexa said adamantly. Clarke crossed the remainder of the room and sat down next to Lexa on the steps, wrapping one arm around her shoulder and taking her hand.

“This isn’t your fault, Lexa. This isn’t anyone’s fault. To blame yourself and hate yourself over it is to regret the decision to have Anya, and I would never regret that for a single second, would you?”

“Of course not,” Lexa said immediately.

Clarke was right. There was no logical reason to feel guilty, but she simply could not stand the thought of her daughter one day having to fight to the death like she had. To either die or live with the guilt of killing other innocents like herself. So she told Clarke everything she told Aden and more. It wasn’t like Clarke hadn’t probably thought of all of this herself anyway.

“So why not change it?” Clarke said once Lexa was finished.

“What?”

“Why not change how the Commander is chosen? We’ve changed so much already in favor of peace. Even ‘jus drein jus daun.’ If people are willing to try and accept that, I don’t see why they wouldn’t be willing to try something different when it could literally be their children or loved ones out there fighting to the death in the future.”

“It is a lot of change, Clarke. Not everyone is pleased with us being married or having a child, either. Not that I care what those people think. They can go float themselves, as you like to say.”

Clarke fought the urge to laugh at that, but she did let a small smile slip. Lexa was quiet for a few long moments, obviously weighing the options as she chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip.

“But I think you’re right,” Lexa finally continued. “Change is never easy, and we are trying to build a future that is fair and peaceful and just. I don’t think it is fair to anyone to place the fate of that future in a contest that is by nature unjust and hostile.”

“Now say it exactly like that to the Ambassadors next time we all meet,” Clarke said encouragingly. “Actually I think it would probably be best to tell them the plan and have them take the announcement back to their clans. Then they can come back and we will have a vote.”

Lexa smiled and she felt the weight of the world sliding off of her shoulders. “I knew I married you for a reason,” she teased and Clarke gave her a winning smirk.

“Obviously for my brilliant political mind. And probably my boobs,” she teased back.

“The former was just a bonus. The latter was actually the reason,” she said with a laugh as Clarke gave her a playful swat on the shoulder.

“Okay Commander Pervert, we should probably get back to our child before my mom steals her and runs back to Arkadia with her. She’s loving grandparenthood so much,” Clarke said, the fondness apparent in her voice and look.

“I’m glad Anya will have her,” Lexa said, taking Clarke’s hand as they headed back.

“Like you said before,” Clarke replied as she leaned her head against her wife’s shoulder yet again, “she will have the world.”

* * *

“Mooom, Adie’s not playing fair!” Anya whined from her place on the ground.

“I am so!” Aden swung around to look at Lexa, who was sitting and watching very intently. “Heda, tell her everything is fair when you’re fighting for your life!”

“Oh she knows!” Lexa called out, a knowing smile on her face as Anya picked up her wooden sword and brought it crashing into the side of Aden’s leg with as much strength as her five-year-old body could muster. He yelped and hobbled slightly, reaching down to rub at his wounded limb.

“Hey! Now look who’s not playing fair!” He glowered at Anya as intimidatingly as he could, which wasn’t very considering he was currently hopping around on one leg and way too fond of the child to be very angry.

“Everything is fair when you’re fighting for your life!” Anya quoted back to him in a mocking tone, sticking her tongue out and blowing a raspberry at him.

Lexa laughed and continued to watch as Aden pulled himself together and started attempting to teach Anya some defensive moves.

“How badly has she hurt Aden this time?” Clarke said when she joined Lexa moments later.

“I think he’ll live,” Lexa mused, turning and greeting Clarke with a kiss. “I missed you.”

“We just saw each other earlier this morning,” Clarke reminded her with a soft laugh.

“Yes. And I still missed you,” Lexa said tenderly, leaning in and giving her another kiss, which Clarke returned with a surprising but completely welcome eagerness. “Careful, this is how we got that tiny ball of rage over there,” Lexa teased when they finally broke apart for air.

“Mmm, I’m having trouble remembering how that process goes. Care to refresh my memory?” She murmured against Lexa’s lips before kissing along her jaw and down towards her neck.

Lexa smiled and bit her lip against the urge to whimper. “I’d love to, but it’s a complex process and it takes a while to…” she sucked in her breath as Clarke nipped at her earlobe, “explain properly.”

“I’m more of a hands-on kind of girl,” Clarke husked into her ear and it made Lexa hot all over. “A demonstration would probably be more beneficial.” Lexa was busy thinking of a way that she could feasibly sneak away long enough to give her the demonstration of a lifetime when she heard a throat clear not too far behind them.

To their credit, neither of them jumped away from each other. They were far too comfortable and unashamed with their love and affection to care anymore. But they both snapped their heads around to see Aden standing there, looking quite uncomfortable at interrupting what was clearly an intimate moment. Anya was with him, though she was preoccupied with a butterfly sitting on the tip of her sword.

“Training is done for the day,” Aden announced.

“Can I go brush the horses with Auntie O now?” Anya asked sweetly, all the cheekiness and viciousness of her earlier warrior persona gone.

“Did you put away all the stuff in your room?” Clarke asked.

“Yes mama. And oohh! I painted you a picture. I’ll show it to you later, but right now I reaaally wanna go see Auntie O. She said after I’m done brushing the horses today, maybe she’ll let me ride on my own,” she shifted from foot to foot with excitement and smiled her best smile at both of her parents.

“Oh alright, but I want that picture asap kiddo! You know I don’t mess around when it comes to art,” Clarke said, as if it were some great chore to give her daughter everything she wanted.

“Yay!” Anya squealed and threw herself into their laps, making both women grunt and laugh simultaneously. “I love you mom! I love you mama!” She gave kisses to Lexa and then Clarke in turn.

Lexa looked at the two girls in her arms, into the deep blue eyes of the woman she loved and into the bright eyes of their pride and joy, whose eyes had actually turned out to be an exact mirror of her own… and she thought that her legacy as Commander would be one of peace, but her legacy as just Lexa… that’s the one she would treasure the most.


End file.
